Pangs in an author’s journey

As I embarked upon my debut attempt at writing a book, I was so excited and imbued with so much enthusiasm. But along the journey, I realise that it is not at all an easy one.

I salute all the authors out there.I had never ever understood it when many authors I know,said that each of their creations were  like delivering a baby.Being pregnant,nurturing it,dreaming about the baby,tolerating all the pangs and pains of the changing physique till on the day of the delivery when she has to be the sole bearer of all the pain.But the little face that shows up from her own body erases all the pangs of the bygone days in a second.

As I selected my topic to  begin my author journey(Healing journeys of Single moms), I never knew I would be transformed from the empathetic but detached physician to the sympathetic extremely sensitive ordinary woman who lives the pain of each of her characters.

Even though I had journeyed through the severest of pains as a single mom,I was immensely fortunate enough to be endowed with all tools and support systems to resurrect from my own ashes.

We healers are trained to be dispassionate, unprejudiced observers of our clients, never ever entangling our emotions with theirs lest  the focus gets shifted from our role as healer, just as a surgeon needs to have full focus devoid of emotions on the body in front of him even if it is his own child, lest his hands go awry.

But as I began my author journey with the stories of the same clients and acquaintances I have travelled with into their healings,I had to get into each of their shoes to get their stories on board.

And my goodness, gracious…I realise with a shock that I am living each of their lives in my mind before putting them on paper.I don’t just know how to express what I am going through,but looking into the mirror,I see that my hairs have greyed a lot in the past months,my eyes have become puffy and I look old.I am having sleepless nights and restless days,jumbled up groups of words all playing in front of my eyes,waiting to get delivered..But many a time,by just living with their pains shuts off my brain to writing it down.

It is a journey I had never ever anticipated to be so painful.But I know in order to answer to my calling in this Universe,I have to go through it and bring out their stories for millions of others like them to get inspired and motivated to take their healing in their own hands.

I thank the Universe for making me a channel ….

And I hope, once I see my baby in a few months from now, I would hold it with tears of joy and pride…To see the product of my own blood and flesh.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: